Monday

Monday

I did The Visit this morning as Lesley was taking her dad to get the results of his CT scan this afternoon. More on that later.

Mum was cheerful and chatty. She’d just had breakfast and was lying in the sunshine talking to someone when I got there. She mentioned hearing the kids go to school. The footpath from the top of the village to the primary school is right below her window. She also asked a lot of questions about the people she’d been seeing in her room. I looked out the window to the rear of the building and told her they were out in the back garden. She was content with that.

Then she told me she was going to tell me a secret and if it ever came out I was to say I didn’t know anything about it. I won’t share what she said for two reasons.

I’d never betray a confidence and

I couldn’t understand a bloody word she said.

Then she told me to bring a tennis ball next time for the kids to play with. Cricket bats and tennis rackets were not necessary apparently. Just the ball.

The conversation got more surreal and less directed at me as time went on. Only a visit from Madeline to ask if Mum wanted a manicure snapped her back into the here and now. Mum was nice and polite and spoke clearly when Madeline spoke to her but as soon as Madeline left it was back to indistinct rambling. Mum was still going strong when Lesley let me know she and The Dog were nearing The Home having walked up from home.

The news about Lesley’s dad isn’t great. It was either going to be fluid in his lungs or actual cancer. Turned out it’s both. Mesothelioma too. If he was stronger and fitter they could do something to help but surgery and chemotherapy are more than he could physically cope with and are likely to be worse than the cancer itself. The annoying thing personally is that he’s been going on for ages about adverts he sees in the Daily Mail from solicitors who’ll handle claims for people exposed to asbestos at work. I told him he had no claim because he wasn’t ill. He didn’t show any symptoms until I noticed his shortness of breath last summer and since then he’s never mentioned it. On top of all this he’s started failing the basic tests for dementia. No surprise there of course. The only reason he’s been getting away with it all these years is because he gets so much practice with being asked all the time.

I wasn’t sure what the prognosis was. It was early days apparently but it’s already having a severe effect on him. All I know about mesothelioma is that it’s nasty and quick. If Mum’s still with us when it gets to the palliative care stage then we’ll try and get him in The Home too

According to UK Cancer Research…

“Generally for people with mesothelioma in England: 45 out of 100 people (45%) survive their mesothelioma for 1 year or more after diagnosis.”

An American hospital says survival is typically 4 to 18 months but then I’m guessing that with US healthcare an early diagnosis is less likely due to the cost.