Wednesday

Lesley’s dad didn’t have a carer visiting him this morning so there were no reported incidents to worry about. There will have been one. We just didn’t find out about it.

I had a long conversation with the carer who had been with Dad yesterday and Monday. He was concerned at how weak and frail Dad had got recently. He’s breathless too. Dad denies it of course but we’d noticed how he will run out of puff if he tries to say more than a sentence. The carer said that when Dad first comes downstairs in the morning and sits in the living room he can hear Dad wheezing from the kitchen.

I mentioned that Dad had broken his toilet seat. Again. The carer said he’d seen how Dad “plonks” himself whenever he sits down. After his morning bath Dad will go back to his bedroom to get dressed.

“When he sits on the bed now he gets halfway down and then lets himself fall onto the bed. He falls right over backwards now when he does that. He hasn’t got the strength in his legs to lower himself gently.”

I got to The Home early today. It was still daylight. If you could call it that. One of the usual Reception Lurkers was just inside the front door when I arrived.

“Hello Dear, how are you?” I asked.

“No.” she replied.

“Ah, OK, well have a lovely afternoon anyway.”

“No.”

I gave my usual greeting when I went in Mum’s room.

“Hello Mum! It’s Nick!” 

“No.”

“It’s Nick. Nicholas.”

“No.” And then something indistinct but definitely uncomplimentary.

“Bloody hell. Not you as well?” I thought.

I didn’t challenge her. It was an argument I wasn’t going to win and if I did it would just upset her. So best left then. I’d got quite used to not being certain whether Mum knew who I was or not. It was a bit of a shock that she wanted to argue about it.

Her carer came in with a milkshake and left me to assist. She returned a little later to tell me that Mum was able to cope without the spout on the cup today. She was right. Mum could cope and drained the cup quickly.

Reggie appeared and Mum brightened up. I told him about the argument I didn’t have.

“Hello Iris! How’s Nick?”

“Alright.”

“When did you last see him?”

“Yesterday.”

“He’s come to see you today. Here he is!”

“Is he?! Oh! Hello!”

“Hello Mum! I’ve just got here. Better late than never eh?”

No response.

“Nick comes to see you a lot, doesn’t he?”

No response.

“Yep, I’m here every day Mum. Whether you like it or not.”

Reggie laughed and left. Mum just looked confused.

She wasn’t comfortable and kept fidgeting. That’s normal when she’s coming out of a Sleepy phase.

“I can’t move!”

She hasn’t got the strength to any more.

It didn’t take her long to appear to forget who I was, start talking to her Other People and then fall asleep.

Bloody hell.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely