Tuesday

Mum was awake and lucid when I got to The Home this afternoon. Lucid enough to know how poorly she is.

“Hello Mum! It’s Nick. How are you doing today?”

“I’m not good. I wish I was dead… I wish I was dead…”

I held her hand while she bawled her eyes out. Thankfully, Juliette was doing the afternoon meds round and unwittingly rescued me.

“Hello Iris! I’ve got a drink with your calcium and vitamin D. How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad”

What!?

Juliette kept talking to Mum while she took her medicine. It really lifted her mood and it stayed lifted for the rest of the visit.

I followed Juliette out of the room.

“What’s her mood been like? She’s just told me she wishes she was dead”

“Fine. She’s been absolutely fine.”

“Oh. OK. So it’s just me being here then.”

“Ha! Yeah. Probably!” she laughed.

Once she was calm, Mum became much more chatty. She was more distinct than usual. Well, mostly.

“What did you get up to today?”

“Lesley’s car needed an MoT test so I’ve been into town twice. When I got the car back I came straight here. That’s a thought… I ought to message Lesley to let her know where I am…”

“You should keep in touch with Lesley when you come to visit me”

“Er, yeah. I will. I’ll be seeing her later.”

“Good”

I told her again that her youngest grandson had got engaged and had bought a house. She hadn’t remembered. I told her again that it was his fiancée’s birthday later this week. Unlike yesterday and the day before she agreed to me sending a gift on her behalf.

Then there was a lot that was indistinct before going round a loop of her telling me how pleased she was to see me a few times.

“I’m here every day Mum. Rain or shine whether you like it or not.”

“I know you are. I know you are…. The others don’t come though.”

“They’re all still at work Mum. They can’t come to see you every day. That’s why you’re here. Out in the countryside. You’ve got a posh address now.”

She squeezed my hand.

“Anyway, I like being able to see you every day. I couldn’t do that if you were at home.”

Another squeeze of my hand and a very contented smile.

“If I was still at home then you could all come round to see me.”

I tried, as tactfully as I could, to explain that she wasn’t well enough to go home and then changed the subject to the weather. She looked at the rain on the window.

“That’s why it was me that had to take Lesley’s car to the garage. If a job needs someone to go out in the cold and the wet then that job’s always my job.”

She laughed.

“Shall I read to you for a bit Mum?”

“Ooh! Yeah!”

Another chapter got done.

“They’re good little stories these, aren’t they Mum?”

“Yes. They are. You should save them up and send them to the kids.”

“I’ve got them here on this little computer. Look.”

She seemed impressed.

“I’ve got dozens and dozens on here. All sorts. There’s the stories you like as well as science, maths, computing, art, history. But I don’t suppose you’d be interested in those.”

“No. I’d quite like those.”

So while Mum was cheering up, Eleanor definitely wasn’t. Her normal daily cycle is to start off calm and happy and to get more and more anxious and upset as the day goes on. We had heard the shouting coming from the lounge ever since I had arrived.

“I want to go home! Why won’t you let me out!?”

“Why are you being so cruel!? I want to see my parents!”

 The gentleman in the chair next to her asked to go to the toilet so was being hoisted into a wheelchair.

“Why are you stealing that old man!?”

Unfortunately, the carers performing the operation could see me laughing and started laughing too. That didn’t help.

“What are you laughing for!!? Bring him back!!”

That only made things worse. She followed the carers out into the corridor.

“Let me go home!!”

“Where is your home Eleanor?” she was asked.

“I’m not telling you! I don’t trust you!”

“OK,” they said pointing at me, “Tell him. He’ll help you.”

And with that, they were off up the corridor. I suppose I deserved that. Despite my attempts to delay and distract her, Eleanor returned to the lounge and proudly told everyone

“That nice man is taking me home. You know, the nice one…”

Bloody hell.

When I got back to Mum she was asked where all the noise was coming from.

“It’s the lounge over there. It’s where the other ladies sit and watch telly and drink tea. It’s alright in there. Plenty going on and you can see other parts of the farm down to the river. You should try it one day.”

“Yeah” she said with a sincere look on her face.

She was trying too hard to look keen. I could tell she didn’t mean it.

Then she changed the subject and started talking about the things at the bottom of the bed that needed packing ready for her departure.

I had no idea what she could see and hoped that telling her I’d have to go home first and pick up some boxes to put it all in first would satisfy her.

It did.

Bibliography

Tales from the Parish: 31 humorous short stories about community, family and village life, set in the English countryside

Kindle Edition

by Stefania Hartley

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely