Monday

It took us a while to register the impact of getting carers in to help Lesley’s dad start his day. It wasn’t until nearly 11am that Lesley thought to ask

“Nick? Have you checked in on Dad yet?”

“Oh. No. I haven’t.”

Neither of us had given it any thought. I can’t remember the last time our first thoughts hadn’t been “is he OK?”. His carer was with him. We’d know straight away if the was anything wrong and we’d know exactly how he was when the carer updated us after he’d finished.

That update, when it came in, told us that he was doing OK and that he’d rather the carer just sit and listen to him talking instead of washing up and tidying.

I found Mum well on her way out of the latest Sleepy phase when I got to The Home. She was unusually talkative for Day One but, characteristically, the only words that were distinct enough for me to understand were..

“Don’t leave me on me own!”

She had, over the past few days, been complaining of a sore bottom. I asked if it was still sore. I don’t think she understood why I was asking.

The cup of squash on her table looked untouched but the milkshake had 150ml left in it. Mum has a new habit of pretending to keep drinking her milkshake after the point where she’d really had enough. 150ml left in a cup that holds 250ml is that point. 

A fresh milkshake arrived. Mum was quite keen to start with but when we got to 150ml left she started to do the drinking/not drinking thing again.

I made a rookie error half-way through the visit. Like an idiot I had the temerity to allow myself to think “She’s quite a bit happier than she usually is on the first day awake.”

That’s when she started crying.

Bloody hell

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely