Nursing Home

By Nick Gilmore

Published: 18 Mar, 2024

Monday

 

Mum’s activity cycle has all gone to pot. The last Sleepy phase wasn’t as sleepy as usual but then the previous peak wasn’t as high as usual so that’s kind of understandable. But she was already mid-cycle. Wide awake and talking non-stop.

I got told to find her a new home nearer me, which stuff was going with her and what was staying, who was getting her money. That sort of thing. Several times.

I got told that there had been someone in bed with her when she woke up…

“And before I knew it, there were four of them!”

“Oh Gawd! Any idea who they were Mum?

“{indistinct}, Andrew and two others”

“But they’re not here now”

“No. They’ve all gone. Just left without saying anything.”

And then later..

“I’m taking the sheets when I leave here and if anybody says anything I’ll tell them to sod off”

And later still…

“They keep messing me about. They asked me how many {indistinct} I wanted and I said ‘Two’ and they said ‘TWO!!??’. I mean, if I can’t have two then why ask? Cor blimey”

And even later still…

“{indistinct} my mum and dad. And Aunt Phyl. Dad’s the only one of ’em still alive. Catharine keeps an eye on him which is good”

And then she started another instance of being messed about…

“I was all ready to go up to London but they said I couldn’t go. They said I had to go to……. London”

I think she got lost halfway through the sentence with that one.

Speaking of being lost…

When I was signing in, Lily was heading into the coffee lounge. Half the shift were in there having their lunch. She was asking how much she owed for her lunch and who to make the cheque out to. She spotted me as I walked past.

“And when I’ve done that, I want to find out where the bus stop is so I can get home”

Quick as a flash, one of the guys pointed at me

“He’ll show you where to go!”

He laughed at me. Brilliant.

“You’re going to have a bit of a wait Lily. The timetables have just changed and there isn’t one for ages now. Come and sit in the lounge and I’ll come and find you when the next one is due”

“Thank-you. Can I write you a cheque now?”

“No! You don’t owe me any money now. That young man has made a note and we’ll settle up at the end of the week if that’s alright?”

“Oh yes. That’s a good idea”

By now we were at the front lounge. I was just about to direct Lily to a chair when Hakim said

“You need to be in the other lounge Lily!”

Then he looked at me and laughed.

I got Lily settled in the rear lounge, apologised to Audrey for having come to see her in such muddy clothes and headed off to Mum. Within a couple of minutes Lily came in to ask how much she should make the cheque out for and then every ten minutes or so to ask how to get out of the building.

On my way out I had to wait as Juliette was deep in conversation with a lady resident I hadn’t seen before who was standing in the doorway out to the hall. Juliette noticed me.

“Come this way dear. There are people wanting to come through and I want you to have a shower. No, don’t get undressed here….”

Then there was a voice from across the lounge

“Give her a shove!”

Didn’t need to turn round to know it was Eleanor.

Bloody hell.

Bibliography

Tales from the Parish: 31 humorous short stories about community, family and village life, set in the English countryside

Kindle Edition

by Stefania Hartley

 

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely

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