Thursday

It’s become quite normal for a check on Lesley’s dad’s webcam to show him sound asleep in his armchair. Today was no exception. The first check is done to make sure he’s been able to get himself out of bed and dressed successfully and to make sure he hasn’t fallen over on his way to or back from the kitchen.

Not so long ago, the first check would reveal that he’d been able to make a pot of tea and bring a cup back to drink while he settled down in front of some breakfast TV show and read his newspaper. Now, it’s more usual to find that the process of getting out of bed and getting dressed has completely exhausted him. He doesn’t switch his telly on, he has no drink and his newspaper sits beside him unread.

The telly not being on could also be down to him not being able to fit his hearing aids properly so he can hear it. The newspaper not being read could also be down to him not thinking to change to his reading glasses. He hasn’t read much more than the headlines for ages now and I’m sure that’s what the publishers prefer anyway.

What made today notable was how terrible he looked. I had to zoom in to make sure he was still breathing. He was but it looked very laboured. If he’d thought he could have adjusted the chair to recline more and made himself more comfortable rather all hunched up. The chair has motors to do that and the buttons are right next to his hand. He wouldn’t even have had to stand to do it.

If only he’d thought.

I met Sean at the lift when I arrived at The Home.

“She’s very sleepy today” he warned me.

“Sleepy? Still? OK. Thanks”

It took two attempts to get Mum to respond to me being in the room with her. She still wasn’t properly awake yet. She was Just about awake enough to have a few sips of her milkshake and awake enough to refuse any more moments later. She did wake up more during the visit but she basically remained standard for how she is when first coming out of a sleepy phase. Unhappy, Uncooperative, Uncomfortable and Uncommunicative.

While I was reading to her there was some commotion across the corridor. The Manager and some senior carers were installing residents in a newly fitted-out lounge area. A familiar voice was at the centre of the commotion giving instructions and loudly resisting requests. I finished the chapter and went into the new lounge.

“What’s all this racket!?”

“Aha!! Come! Come and sit next to me…. No, closer than that!” said Audrey.

I have to admit that I felt a little smug that The Manager and senior team witnessed Audrey’s instant change of mood and how the whole room calmed down. Their smiles were a mixture of surprise and relief.

I sat and chatted with Audrey. She thanked me for all I’d done and apologised for how badly the events of yesterday had turned out. I hadn’t seen her for a few days and hadn’t even been in The Home yesterday but I didn’t correct her or even ask what she was talking about.

“It’s been my absolute pleasure Audrey and there’s no need to worry about yesterday. It will all turn out right in the end. And if there’s anyone capable of making it turn out right then that’s you. I’m certain of that.”

Audrey loves a bit of flattery. Her laughter got louder and louder the more we talked and Annie snapped because she couldn’t hear the TV. Audrey’s response was loud and expletive-laden. I tried, and failed, not to laugh.

After a while, another resident joined us in the lounge.

“Hello Eleanor! Would you mind if I said how lovely it is to see you smiling today?”

She giggled like a little girl and stuck her tongue out at me. She was feeling better alright.  Once I’d mentioned it, the carer left with us noticed how much happier Eleanor was.

“Well, he knows I like him. I like his skirt.”

“Right then. I’m going to say goodbye to my Mum and then I’m off to the shops. Eleanor, behave yourself and you Audrey, I’m not even going to bother asking you to behave yourself. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

I went back to Mum. She was slightly more awake but much more unhappy.

“They’ve made a new lounge area Mum. It’s just in that room there…”

“Have they?”

I nearly asked if she fancied going in but decided that the time wasn’t right. It would be fight for another day.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely