Tuesday

Another day which started with a call from Lesley’s dad’s carer. That’s two in a row.

“I’ve got him up, bathed and dressed. He’s fine today. Then I went to his GP surgery, collected the sample pot, got a urine sample from him and I’ve taken that back to the surgery.”

“Wow! That’s brilliant! That’s a massive help! Thank-you!!”

“That’s OK. But there was something odd about his meds. They weren’t there. The row for today was empty.”

“Eh!? Lesley sorted out this week on Saturday as usual. She’s going to be with him later. She can take a look then.”

Our guess was that he’d dropped the whole box and had put the rows back into the tray in the wrong order so that Tuesday’s row was from a previous day and therefore empty.

I got a different story when Lesley got back.

“He’s definitely taken two days worth by mistake. Definitely.”

“Ah, OK. And how was he?”

“I took him out to lunch. He didn’t want to go to the garden centre so we tried a place that does a really good carvery. Everybody was having the carvery. He had sausage, egg and chips.”

So pretty much what he would’ve had if he’d gone to the garden centre as normal then.

“And then he was snippy with the carer. We all discussed what his options were for his tea and she went off to get what he’d agreed to. Then he told her off for bringing the wrong meal. He just hadn’t heard. He’s bunged up both hearing aids now and wasn’t wearing either of them.”

That habit of saying “Yeah” when he’s aware that you’ve said something even when he hasn’t heard it caught him out again.

And so to The Home…

“Hello Mum! It’s Nick!”

“Hello.”

She was sitting up with her sheet and blanket rolled in a ball beside her.

“Shall I get you all straightened out first?”

She didn’t say No so I got on with remaking her bed. I know she finds any weight at all on her toes uncomfortable so went to check.

“I’m just going to make sure your feet are comfortable.”

“Alright… Are they?”

“I don’t know, they’re your feet, you tell me!”

No response.

Then, a bit later…

“I’m waiting for Nicholas.”

“That’s me Mum. I’m Nicholas.”

She gave me a clear “What are you talking about?” look. A bit later she asked about Nicholas again.

I’d been here before. Tell her you’ll go and look for him, go out, count to 10 and go back in.

“Hello Mum!”

“Did you find him?”

I had to do it again and take my jacket off before going back in before she believed it was really me. After that she relaxed and told me everything she’d told the other bloke again.

“There’s an empty coffee cup here Mum. Is that yours?”

“No. That’s his.”

“Who? Your friend?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s alright, that bloke.”

“Yeah.”

“He’s eaten all the biscuits though!”

“Has he!?”

Normally, when she’s in a “Roll up all the bedding in a ball” phase it’s a constant battle to keep Mum covered up but she didn’t move this time. I did get the normal “You’re taking me home” a lot though.

“It’s nice and peaceful in here today Mum. It’s so quiet.”

“Yeah. It is.”

It was oddly quiet. So quiet that on one of my excursions out of Mum’s room I nipped into the lounge to see if Eleanor was actually there. She’d been so distressed recently and had been shouting at everyone. Today, I saw her watching the telly with an armful of teddy bears. She was quiet but she still didn’t look happy.

Aside from the weirdness of not being me for a good chunk of it, it was a good visit. Mum was calm, comfortable, very talkative. She asked for another drink and finished all of it.

There weren’t that many Other People with us today. The Little Girl was there again, an aunt who was definitely Phyllis. Oh, and she was concerned about some children in bed with her.

“No Mum, that’s a pillow they put under your knees to make you more comfortable.”

“No! They’re under there!”

“Are they? Are they hiding behind the pillow!? The little sods!”

“Yeah. They are.”

There’s a fair chance that this was a Peak and that she’ll be asleep tomorrow. If she is then that’s another short Active phase.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely