Thursday

Mum had had quite a long Sleepy phase last time round her Sleepy/Active cycle. Instead of the usual couple of unresponsive days, the last one had lasted nearly four days and I wasn’t 100% convinced she was properly out of it when I saw her yesterday. I wasn’t 100% sure she knew who I was either. But she’d only just woken up then so she deserved to be given a bit of leeway. She was much more likely to be like she normally is on Day One today. Relatively lucid, unhappy, uncommunicative.

That expectation was dispelled before I got in her room. I could hear her talking as I walked the few steps from the lift.

There was no doubting whether she knew who I was this evening or not. Twenty minutes into the the visit she asked me where Nick was.

The room was full of Other People and she was talking to all of them. She’d been talking to them all day. The only name I picked up was Terry.

Mum’s designated carer came in to ask if I wanted a cup of tea.

“Yes please!” piped up Mum.

The carer told me Mum had been talking a lot about her mum today.

“Violet, isn’t it?”

“Blimey! She HAS been talking!”

“It’s nice that your mum’s been here with you today Mum. How is she? Is she alright?”

Mum got quite indignant. I couldn’t understand what she said but I got the impression that her mum was standing next to me and that I should’ve known how she was.

“It’s two sugars for you isn’t it Nick?” the carer said as she left to get our tea.

“Yes it is. You’re not going to forget that, are you? And you’re always going to say it in that voice aren’t you!?”

She just laughed.

“She’s telling me off Mum! She’s telling me off for taking so much sugar in my tea!”

Mum wasn’t interested. Mum was far more interested in her Other People than me.

Our tea arrived. With biscuits. Mum drank her tea quickly. She even insisted on holding the beaker herself towards the end of it. Once the beaker was light enough for her to hold. She had two of the biscuits too. I hadn’t seen her eat that much in ages.

It struck me that Mum may well be at Peak Active already. Talking non-stop, hallucinating vividly, fussing with her blanket as much as she was able. Not so long ago it would take her four or five days from being unresponsive to get to this stage. This time round it had taken 24 hours.

The Active part of her Sleepy/Active cycle would normally be five or six days. This time round we’d be lucky if it was two. I half expected to find her asleep again tomorrow.

Bloody hell.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely