Tuesday

I was being given updates about Mum as soon as I walked in the door at The Home today. Everyone who’d had any contact with her let me know how she was doing.

“She’s very… active today.”

“Your Mum’s been very vocal today.”

“She’s been talking to her friends today. Is there an Uncle John?”

“She’s been eating and drinking well today.”

Wait, what!? Eating!?

She’d actually eaten some of her lunch. She never does that. It’s been months since anyone had told me she’d been eating well.

When I got to Mum’s room it didn’t look like she was that physically active. She was certainly talking though and for most of my visit I felt like I was intruding as she hardly spoke to me at all. But she seemed happy enough. Calm and comfortable. Very talkative but mostly unintelligible.

There weren’t that many Other People with us to start with. Most of Mum’s attention was occupied by someone on the other side of her bed from me. I couldn’t work out who it was because I could hardly understand a word Mum was saying.

A carer came in to ask if I would like a cup of tea or coffee.

“Ooh, yes please. Tea please.”

“Milk?”

“Yes please. And sugar.”

“Sugar?”

“Yes. Two please.”

“TWO!”

“Mum? I think she’s telling me off!”

Mum looked at me, smiled and carried on talking to her Friend.

My tea was delivered with a small blueberry muffin and a milkshake for Mum.

“Would you like some of this cake Mum?”

No response.

I gave Mum a small piece of the cake but she just carried on talking instead of chewing. She did drink all of her milkshake though.

Mum’s hallucinations were getting stronger. She turned towards me at one point and I thought she was going to tell me something.

“Hello little girl!”

Someone had just appeared next to me.

There were more visitors, real ones, while I was there. Another carer came in to tell me how well Mum had been eating and to ask whether I could suggest anything that Mum would like to eat. I did my best and was assured the chef would be told. And we had a visit from a new activities coordinator. It was her second day and she’d brought a cake. Another blueberry muffin.

Mum seemed utterly confused and didn’t really engage with her. The only thing Mum said said while Nina was there was that she’d been to get some bananas and that they were 49p. That didn’t strike me as odd until later. Well, it didn’t strike me as really odd until later. It wasn’t that she’d thought she’d been out to the shops. That’s a common thing late in her Sleepy/Active cycle. The really odd thing was that the price was in decimal currency. New Money. Mum’s normally back in a time when she used Old Money – Pounds, Shillings and Pence. Last Christmas when I asked if she wanted to send money to the grandchildren as usual she agreed that two shillings would be enough.

Mum’s preoccupation with her friend gave me the chance to paint a quick thumbnail sketch of how Mum is and how that changes through the week.

Mum wasn’t interested in the cake at all. She was trying to eat whatever it was she thought she was holding in her hand.

“Are you hungry Mum?”

“No?”

Earlier in the day we’d had a minor alarm about Lesley’s dad. We’d been told that he was alright by the carer that had seen him first thing but when his lunch was delivered he’d told the village volunteer that he wasn’t well. When she went back to check on him later he said he was OK again. Dehydration? We’ll never know. No point asking him whether he’d made himself a drink during the morning. He won’t remember.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely