Our Hound

By Nick Gilmore

Published: 13 Oct, 2024

Sunday

Eldest Sister did the visit today. Only her youngest son was due to go with her this time but even he couldn’t make it as the trains from his fiancĂ©e’s place were all knacked. He was able to make it to ours in time for lunch though. Funny that.

Eldest Sister found Mum awake and talkative – sometimes coherent, sometimes not. She was hallucinating more than I would have expected on Day Three of her weekly Sleepy/Active cycle and was complaining that there were too many people down the sides of her bed. My guess was that she was objecting to the small pillows that are placed on either side of her shoulders to stop he toppling over in bed. On the positive side, Mum did drink a lot – a cup and a half of squash – during the visit. That was impressive for Day Three. Eldest Sister thought that was a significant change in Mum’s behaviour.

“Nan’s here. You should go and talk to her. She’d like that.”

It wasn’t clear whether “Nan” was her nan or ours and Eldest Sister didn’t ask.

Uncle Tony was there too – he was standing by the door – along with host of people that Eldest Sister took to be girls that Mum worked with in the typing pool. That put the conversation somewhere in the mid 1950s which is more recent than where Mum usually is.

Eldest Sister told Mum about a concert she’d played in in London and Mum enjoyed listening to the music. Mum said she’d like to see her play again.

“You can Mum. As soon as you’re well enough.”

Having listened to the music on Eldest Sister’s phone, Mum had a bright idea.

“Can you phone Aunt Phyl?”

“I can’t Mum. The battery’s flat.”

But it’s hard to keep the conversation going when you’re there on your own and when you run out of things to say Mum will take over and things get surreal pretty quickly.

Mum said that there was a lot of stuff under her bed. Eldest Sister followed my tactic. She got up, looked under the bed and said she could see it but couldn’t reach it.

“Perhaps when Nick comes in tomorrow he can reach it for you.”

“Nick doesn’t come in very often. He hasn’t been for ages.”

I’ve got to be honest. Hearing that Mum had said that stung a bit. Perhaps she fails to recognise me more often than I’d thought.

But lunch was lovely. A little bit stressful cooking for twice as many as I’m used to but not as bad as when they all turn up. We talked about the events of the past couple of days. By the time you read this the days will all appear in the right order but I haven’t written them yet. I’m still processing what I’ve been told about how Mum is, what to expect and what we want The Home to do about it.

In spite of the heavy, grown-up stuff there was still plenty of laughter and funny family stories.

The Dog enjoyed seeing them too. Getting her the week before the first COVID lockdown did her no favours at all. She got used to ‘strangers’ not coming into the house ever and when the restrictions got lifted she’d get highly stressed if anyone crossed the threshold. But Eldest Sister and her kids have been great with her and their patience has paid off. The Dog will now go to sleep and snore loudly while they’re here and she genuinely looked sad when they left. It’s been a long journey but she’s a different dog now.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely

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