Tuesday

Day Two of Lesley’s dad’s new carer visits. I didn’t bother checking in on the webcam until after the carer had gone as yesterday had gone so well. Dad looked content, comfortable and relaxed with no sign of the breathlessness that he normally struggles with after getting washed, dressed and breakfasted. Within minutes he was asleep and he was asleep most of the day. The length of time he sleeps during the day has suddenly and markedly increased in the last week or so. That can’t be a good sign but he is, at the moment, content, comfortable and relaxed.

The thing is, the sudden onset of sleepiness coincides with Lesley’s dad getting the hang, more or less, of taking paracetamol four times a day. If you Google ‘paracetamol & drowsiness’ then you’ll find drowsiness is one of the most common side effects. But if you look at what the NHS says it will tell you that side effects are very rare if you’re taking it as directed. Until we get some clarification from his GP we won’t know whether it’s the paracetamol that’s causing the drowsiness or whether it’s the progression of his mesothelioma that’s causing both the drowsiness and the increased need for paracetamol.

For the record, my money’s on it being the latter but the real takeaway from this should be to not Google pharmaceuticals and side effects and ask a medical professional instead.

I got to The Home just after lunch today and I had confirmation right away from the Activities Lead that Mum had been asleep all day yesterday as forecast.

She should have been well on her way out of the latest Sleepy phase today.

She wasn’t.

“Hello Mum! It’s Nick”

She opened her eyes grudgingly.

“How are you feeling? Are you alright?”

She shook her head weakly. She didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to. I could tell by the look on her face that she was utterly, utterly miserable. A few moments later, she shut her eyes agian.

Reggie had seen me arrive. He came in to tell me Mum had refused her meds this morning. It wasn’t that she was just unresponsive, she was actively resistant and uncooperative and put her hand over her mouth. First time I’d known about her doing that.

Mum opened her eyes again. Probably because we were laughing too loudly.

“I’ve got some good news Mum!”

One of her grandsons had announced his engagement at the weekend and he and his fiancée had got the keys to their new house.

“Good” she said and dozed off.

Even though she wasn’t stirring much I was pretty sure she wasn’t deeply asleep. I offered to read to her. She didn’t object so I carried on. By the end of the chapter she was definitely totally unresponsive.

I wasn’t sure what to make of this visit. Mum must have been awake for some while. Certainly awake enough earlier on to vigorously refuse her morning meds so it wasn’t as if I’d caught her at the instant she’d woken out a Sleepy & Unresponsive phase. She would normally be quite uncomfortable on Day One awake but she wasn’t today because she didn’t try to move at all.  Not once. That wasn’t what I expected to see. Being uncooperative and uncommunicative is normal for Day One but being that unhappy? That was worse than usual.

This time last year, Day One would be the day that she might say “If I could die, I would.”

Today, I felt she was thinking it but couldn’t be bothered to say it.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely