Tuesday

Mum was more awake than I expected her to be this afternoon. For the most part she was Unhappy, Uncomfortable, Uncooperative and Unintelligible which was all completely unsurprising so early in the cycle.

I had arrived as tea was being served and Reggie spotted me as I walked into the front lounge.

“NIIIIICK!! Oh! Where’s the…..”

He was waving his hands around his legs.

“No kilt today. I haven’t got one that’s clean and dry. The Dog’s rule is that when Lesley’s out seeing her dad, she gets to choose where we walk. And today’s route was the most muddy, gloopy, sodden, flooded paths imaginable. I had to put everything I was wearing straight into the washing machine”

“HA! And how is Lesley’s dad?”

“Another trip to hospital in Oxford. Bottom line is that they’re of the opinion that he’s too frail to endure any of the treatments available which is pretty much what I thought they’d say. It’s going to be palliative care at home. He says he doesn’t want any medication that’ll make him feel worse.”

“Ah. That’s not good”

I got a very enthusiastic welcome from Audrey and her gang. Shirley told me someone had left some food in front of her and she didn’t know what to do with it. I told her it looked good and that she should eat as much of it as she wanted. Her response was that I should eat it. I’d heard that before and, although I didn’t know it at the time, I was about to hear it again. The Manager was in the rear lounge and this was the first time he’d witnessed this performance. He seemed very happy but I’m not sure he knew what to make of it.

I got to Mum and did my best to make her comfortable. She wasn’t at all interested in what I had to say and when she did try to say anything it was to moan about someone or something. I couldn’t make out which. Or what. Or who. But she definitely wasn’t happy. She did agree to my suggestion to read though.

Then Juliette arrived with a drink.

“Hello Iris. HELLO IRIS!! I’ve got some fresh cranberry juice for you. It’s nice. I’ve just had some.”

“Don’t like it”

I took the cup, sat Mum up and got her to drink some. Juliette thanked me and left me to it.

Then Mum’s tea was delivered.

“Blimey Mum! He’s brought you a banquet!”

There was much too much for her. Standard Weetabix in cream with sugar, a quarter of a ham & cream cheese sandwich, a quarter of an egg mayo sandwich, a milkshake, a bowl of rice pudding and a coffee. All I could think was that they had brought her a bit of everything on the off-chance there would be something she liked.

There wasn’t.

It was a real battle. I tried a bit of a sandwich and it was actually pretty good. I had hoped that me eating with her would encourage her a little.

“These are good Mum”

“You eat them then”

She tried the ham sandwich and spat the ham back into my hand. Tried the egg sandwich but spat the egg out too. I had more success with the Weetabix but even having given her a rest mid-way through she only managed maybe a third of it before turning her head away.

On my way out I saw Juliette again. I told her what a battle it had been. She said that that’s normal for Mum. Her appetite isn’t good but it is better in the mornings. I said I wasn’t that worried as she didn’t appear to be losing weight. She showed me the charts on their system and the trend is actually upward. Mum weighs a kilo more than she did when she arrived.

So that’s something.

But bloody hell she was miserable today.

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely