Saturday

Standard repartee was exchanged with Audrey on arrival at The Home. Interesting to note that Eleanor always recognises me if she’s in the rear lounge but hasn’t got a clue who I am if she’s in the front. I asked her why she’s been put with The Troublemakers again and was told not to be cheeky by Audrey. I was quietly informed by staff that someone was with Mum changing her pad so there was no rush. Just as well because Shirley was up on her feet.

“Don’t go yet!”

“I’m on my way to see my Mum.”

“I’ll come with you… Don’t go so fast… Shall we go to those rooms there?”

But she didn’t stop there. She carried on with me. She took a peek into her own room in passing but there was no apparent recognition that it was her room..

“I’ll try that one later”

And on we went. I assumed, quite wrongly as it turns out, that she would do the usual route up to the door out to the laundry where I can convince her to turn round and go back to the lounge.

“This looks nice”

“That’s Callum’s room”

“It’s nice. I’ll sit here for a bit”

“OK. And then we’ll go back to the lounge right?”

She said “Yeah” but started pulling back the bedclothes. She sat on the bed and kicked off her slippers.

I calculated and recalculated the best course of action as the situation developed. No-one’s ever told me what to do in this situation but the rules I’ve set myself are that I don’t ever touch other residents let alone physically restrain them and I don’t ever give direct instructions about what they should or shouldn’t do. I just give hints and suggestions. I elected to let her get on with it and get to a point where I think she’s sufficiently safe to be left alone while I get a member of staff.

“Can you help me get in bed?”

I pulled the duvet back far enough for her to swing her legs onto the mattress.

“Ooh blimey! I’m freezing cold!”

I pulled the duvet over her.

“You will stay with me for a bit won’t you? You won’t leave me on me own?”

Bloody hell. Not another one.

She grabbed my hand to make sure I don’t leave.

“Could you turn the light out please?”

“Of course!”

I took the chance to escape and dash to the lounge to dob Shirley in to The Authorities. The staff were leaving Mum’s room as I returned so I went in.

We were approaching Peak Active Mum. Fidgeting, fussing with her duvet, scratching her head and asking for her back to be scratched. And talking. Non-stop. I can’t make any sense of much of it. She did say that she felt much better than yesterday though.

Other People made an appearance. They were small boys mostly. She heared a small crash.

“What was that?”

“That was me. I crossed my legs and kicked your table by accident. I apologise for being such an oversized oaf”

“Oh blimey! I told your mum the other day that {something totally unintelligible that I didn’t ask her to repeat}”

I didn’t ask her who she thought I was. 

Then she told me about something that happened at work and we had a discussion that I thought was about arrangements for her leaving to go home tomorrow. She was certainly going to ask the nurse something after breakfast and then she’d call me.

People passed the door.

“Who’s that?”

Jacqui was being put to bed and there was a notable lack of screaming, swearing and attempted murders. I could only actually see one person from where I was sitting. The other half of the team was already in Jacqui’s room.

“It’s Jess!”

I waved. Jess waved back. Mum waved too.

“Come in here and sit with us. Come on! Quick!”

“She’s putting someone to bed Mum. She might come in when she’s finished”

“Good”

She carried on talking until Glenys arrived.

“Good evening Iris! How are you!?”

“Not too bad”

I stood at the end of the bed while the meds were administered. Glenys was very jolly and Mum was smiling. Then Mum points at me and says

“The trouble with him is when he’s here he {something unintelligible again}”

Glenys looked at me but I shrugged and shook my head. She laughed anyway.

With the meds successfully taken, Mum continued to talk until I told her that it was getting late, that I’d find Brother Cadfael on the ‘radio’ and that I’d see her tomorrow. Even though I was walking to the door there were still things she needed to tell me and me actually being out in the corridor didn’t make her stop.

All this after a day with Lesley’s dad where his weekly dosset box is stocked, the items that I’ve apparently hidden are found and some laundry is done. Lesley has made frequent attempts to convince him that his microwave isn’t safe to use after it went bang and tripped the circuit breaker to no avail. He also refused to accept that fitting a smart meter is necessary. But when I suggest both he is dead keen. It’s hard to process how contrarian he is when she needs him to do something. Anything.

Oh, and as a quick check to see if his AMTS skills were just temporarily compromised when the cancer consultant caught him on the hop, he was asked what the year was. He pointed at the huge calendar next to him and said confidently

“1964!”

If I was to be asked in which year he last changed his opinion about anything, that’s what I would’ve said too.

Bibliography

Brother Cadfael: A BBC Radio Collection of Three Full-Cast Dramatisations

Audible Audiobook – Original recording

Author’s Note

My Mum is in a nursing home in a small village in the Thames Valley. The photo is not of the home. I used an AI image generator to give the reader some idea of the home she’s in.

All, some or maybe even none (you’ll never know!) of the names have been changed to protect privacy and hide real identities. If you think you recognise someone then let me know and I’ll edit the post or remove it entirely